How many Oscar telecasts have you
watched from beginning to end?
Oh, I’m not talking about the endless, insipid
pre-Oscars show where the media hang around like hungry rats along the red
carpet holding microphones out and desperately trying to catch celebrities
with shouts and pleas to give them a solid 90 seconds of camera time.
No. I
consider that a pathetic circus that I avoid at all costs. I’m really talking
about the moment the show begins, from the opening music, to the opening monologues,
through each and every award and overly long speech, through each and every
musical number, and watching every moment; good, bad, or awkward, until the
telecast goes off the air.
Anybody do that?
Well, I do, and I’ve done that
since before I can remember. I started watching back in the days when Bob Hope
and Johnny Carson hosted the show to an audience at the Dorothy Chandler
Pavilion in Los Angeles, a time when the Oscar host was so well-respected that
no one dared criticize them in the Tuesday morning newspapers. (That’s right.
The Oscars used to run on Monday nights.)
Every year, I would count down
the hours to a telecast that riveted me for three-plus hours because it was my
once-a-year glimpse into a world I wanted to join. So, I would watch every
category with my trusty Oscar ballot in my lap, for I would make my own Oscar
predictions and see how well I did compared with the “experts.” Some years, I
made friendly wagers on who could pick the most winners correctly. But more
than anything, I just love the art-form of the motion picture so much that this
one night, this one moment in time for me, is, dare I say it?
Magical.
Oh, I know. Every year, we see
fountains of verbal bile and vomit spewed onto websites by bitter reviewers who didn't like this joke, or that dress, or were offended by something someone
said, or thought the telecast was way too long.
Me? I DON’T THINK IT’S LONG
ENOUGH.
If the entire Super Bowl telecast, from pre-pre-game to pre-game to halftime
to post-game can be between six and eight hours long, and NFL fans love that, I
don’t see why movie fans can’t have a 4 hour ceremony. But I love it all
because it’s LIVE, (it's the only major awards show that is ever shown live on the West Coast of the US,) and it’s all about the people who make the movies we love, and honoring the work of their colleagues. What’s not to love about that?
I have always been honest about my
love for the movie-making process, and the Academy Awards telecast is the one
moment of the year where the best movies are awarded by the people who make the
damn movies. This is no People’s Choice Awards, where the non-industry general
public gets to vote. No. This is a private ceremony where ballots are only
given to Academy members, members who can only vote on the category that
employs them, as well as the Best Picture category. And we, the viewing public,
get a mere glimpse into the world of cinema and get to share in the excitement
of the ceremony.
People say that the Oscars don’t
reflect the opinions of the general movie-going audiences, and to that I say, DUH!
What does the general public know
about how to frame a shot? Are they better than a cinematographer to pick the Best
Cinematography award? We know very little about special effects and what it
takes to render shot after shot. Are we really qualified to vote on Best Visual
Effects? No, we are not. Not unless we work in the industry, we don’t. It's better that the votes come from people who work in the industry, and not from
someone who liked a movie because they think Charlize Theron is “hot.” (She is,
but that’s beside the point.)
It is ridiculous to argue
that the Oscars are a waste of time because they never give awards to popular movies like
“Fast and Furious” or “Magic Mike.” If you want to see the award for “Best
Shirtless Performance, watch the MTV Movie Awards where the winners only show
up when they know they've already won. For me, that’s not riveting.
What’s riveting to me is to see well-dressed celebrities sweating nervously like real human beings, reacting with a manufactured calm as their name is read out as a nominee, and then to see their reaction when
they win (or lose) the award. This, to me, is also magical because it’s an honest, human reaction to a tremendous achievement.
So, when you watch the Oscars
coming up, (and I know you will because you are reading this,) watch the
pre-Oscars show if it pleases you. Don’t let my aversion to that part of the telecast put you off. But above all, enjoy the moment. Imagine what it would be
like to be a nominee, and cheer the people who made the movies you loved last
year.
Movies are a wonderful
art-form, and the Oscars are the pinnacle of that art-form’s celebration of the very hard work they all did the previous year.
As a life-long movie aficionado, the only
thing better than watching the Oscar telecast is to be sitting in a darkened movie
theater and marveling at the artistry and craft employed by thousands to create
a marvelous piece of filmmaking.
After all, while it’s nice to see
the ceremony, it’s the movies that make us care.
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